


Zombie-ing your way into my life

by Houdidoo



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Akashi has a new RV and they're all really happy, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Comedy, F/M, M/M, Road Trips, jk i can't write comedy but no one really dies so that's that, why do i write things i will never continue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:55:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4334669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houdidoo/pseuds/Houdidoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Akashi's group found a zombie that walked way too elegantly, but somehow Akashi still seems more terrifying. Murasakibara has nice hair for a zombie apocalypse and Kise is afraid for his <strike>beautiful face</strike> life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everyone's constant state of exasperation caused mainly by one Akashi Seijuurou

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda like _Warm Bodies_ but not really.
> 
> I have never watched _Warm Bodies_.
> 
> Un-beta'd cause lol I'm just bored and can't really use my laptop to draw so eh whatever

They had documented it. Rather, Momoi had documented it. The rest of them didn't really bother. Akashi did not stop her, however. Then again, this is Akashi, and Akashi thinks every piece of information is vital. So into the notebook it went.

 

 **Type:** Slow walker (?)

 **Companion:** None/not in sight (?)

 **Physical appearance:** Unclear, black cloak, wear from use, hair drenched red with presumably dried blood, bandaged (?), half of its face seems to have been bitten off; covered in guts but all limbs are attached; might have been traveling to the Teikou refugee area when attacked judging by it's supplies,

 **Special notes:** none so far; doesn't seem to have much awareness to its surroundings, possible enhanced physical strength and hearing; blind (judging by the way its walking); all traits when turned presented; easy kill.

 **Belongings:** an empty backpack, supplies might have been sneaked away by survivals.

 

“So, do we off it or not? Quick kill, take what's left and we're done,” Aomine had asked disinterestedly.

 

“I don't know if we should even bother. There are plenty of supplies and resources already. We'll just be wasting bullets and effort on this one. It might be carrying some goods, but I don't think it's worth it. What do you think, Akashi?” Momoi said slowly. It was true, said walker didn't seem to pose much of a threat by any means. Another lesser group could easily take care of the job if there ever comes the need to. It _was_ a slow walker.

 

Akashi assessed Momoi's words along with his own speculations, by the look of it. No one actually knows what his speculations, most of the time, are. But by the way he calmly gathers his belongings from the camp they had set up the night before, they could throw one or two wild guesses.

 

“Momoi's right. We don't need to waste our resources. Leave it be for now. The plan was to head over to Seirin, scout the area, and do some cleaning up. Gather your things. We'll leave in five minutes. And-” he pauses, contemplating god knows what, staring at lord knows who, “If we cross paths again, we'll take care of any unfinished business then. I look forward to it,” he said to the now empty spot which were previously occupied by the zombie that has long gone out of sight.

 

Well, that's interestingly terrifying. Usually Akashi is a calm and collected guy, just like your run of the mill capable, almost too perfect – albeit lacking a sense of humour some(most of the)times – leader. Everyone is perfectly content as long as he isn't slaughtering anyone for that matter. So it comes as a fair warning of plenty, hopefully only, zombie bloodshed whenever Akashi is _looking forward_ to anything.

 

Aomine tried his best to appear mildly worried. For the most part, he doesn't succeed. As long as there is less zombies on Earth, and Momoi is not in any immediate danger traveling with them in the first place, he really could not careless.

 

Momoi might have been more concerned than she looked. Despite so, she kept her calm well. Besides, while she can't stand the first sight of blood, gore, or anything zombie related, she trusts her own group to make the right decisions. May be not all of them, mostly Akashi, and that's enough to keep them alive. Therefore, she rarely has any extra input.

 

Kise simply laughed it off. Sometimes it seems he cares more about not having scars on his preciously handsome face rather than actually protecting his companions. Regardless, he is skilled at what he does, and he respects everyone else, so there is no fear he might just turn his heels on them and run the other direction in time of peril, probably.

 

Midorima might have had an input or thirty-five, considering he knows Akashi the most. By that logic, he is also the one who understands how unbearable Akashi can be when he has set his mind on something. Thus, another tally mark on Momoi's ongoing list of things that went unsaid by Midorima.

 

Murasakibara is Murisakiraba. He eats; he sleeps; he kills; he eats some more; rinse and repeat. He does have very nice hair and Momoi is usually jealous.

 

In the end, Akashi is in charge of this peculiar group, they have to deal with whatever he throws at them, he has to deal with whatever they throw at him, and so thank _God_ it's Akashi. Momoi would rather not think about the idiotic things Aomine might have gotten himself into if they hadn't been joined Akashi and his scouting missions. In actuality, “joined” is a kind word; “got picked up along the way by Akashi” sounds more plausible to Momoi. But it puts too much of a dent on Aomine's pride that one time Momoi used it, so she avoids the word altogether, in front of Aomine, at least.

 

So that was that. They didn't question him. They couldn't.

 

Up he went and up they followed.

 

Which is why they could only gape at him now as the familiar silhouette they saw four days ago was casually zombie-ing its way down Main Street in the Seirin Zone.

 

“ _Now_ can I kill it?” Aomine thrusts the full magazine into his silenced semi-auto handgun and aims.

 

“Sure. If it doesn't kill us first.”

 

“Wha-”

 

And Kise screams at the furry creature leaping straight for his face.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They had approximately no time to assess the situation at hand. Before Momoi knew it, she had been lifted up by the waist in Aomine's big strong arms and scurried away, the screeching of the track machine is earsplitting annoying when combined with Kise's. Of course, she has more to worry about at the moment, such as the confirmed walking dead lurking somewhere within a three-meter radius of the group, specifically the radius around Momoi and Aomine. She has an unpleasant hunch that it might be targeting directly at her. Perhaps its senses decided she was the weakest of the bunch. She scoffs at the thought. (Sure, she is the weakest of them, but that's because they are monster of their own. Momoi herself could put ten extra holes into a sack of flesh within record time with arguably accuracy if she were to desire for it. Lucky for her, she does not have to execute such a task often thanks to the capable hands of her team.) Before she could turn off the device in her hand to make their whereabouts less obvious, (she hopes Kise would shut up soon. Whatever clinging to his face sure is persistent), Aomine came to a sudden halt. Momoi cursed as she clung to the tracker. She was ready to reprimand her childhood friend when she noticed the familiar figure in front of them. The screeching is unbearable as time seemed to stop. Aomine's hand twitched dangerously with his gun glinting in the dark of the used-to-be parking facilities they were camping in. He had dropped her to the ground as soon as they stopped but she had no time to complain because Daiki was focused. They understood too fast that whatever they're dealing with was not, in the least, a slow zombie.

It broke into a sprint straight at Momoi and gun shots resounded in the vacant space.

 

It was _definitely_ not a slow zombie.

 

She was not even sure if it was a zombie if not for the half of its eaten face came too close to her own. She barely noticed the glint of light in its eyes as it pressed a knife close to Aomine's throat while effectively knocked the tracker out of her hand onto the hard asphalt ground.

 

The group had split up earlier as they could manage just fine on their own, but now, after two and a half years under Akashi's command, Momoi finally thought may be splitting up at all in any given situations might not be the best of ideas. She had watched those old horror movies of times when the world wasn't in ruins, scoffed at those people rendered helpless alone, and suddenly remembered she had been trained for these kind of unexpected situations.

 

The zombie had the decency to look humanly surprised as she lunged a knife hidden in her sleeves straight between its eyes after Aomine successfully shield himself from the knife at his throat with ease of practice and rendered it motionless on the ground, face up, within three seconds flat. Before she could plant the knife into its forehead, though, it recovers quickly. With Aomine's head now between its thighs which had broken free of his grip, the hooded zombie used its strength and the momentum of the force put upon it to throw Aomine straight on top of Momoi. While they were busy untangling from each other, the zombie grabbed the tracker and ran away as abruptly as when it appeared before them. It later came regrettably late to Momoi that it was not her it was targeting, it was the tracker.

 

“THAT. Whatever it was, was definitely not a zombie,” Aomine said somewhere between untangling himself from Momoi and helping her to her feet again.

 

“Agree.”

 

Akashi also agreed as he waited for the figure at the floor above, where a plank of wood had been strategically placed connected to the building next to theirs.

 

“It would make perfect sense to wait for you downstairs, where logically one would run to escape. I did tell Midorima and Murasakibara to wait there, just in case. But it makes much more sense to use the fire escape conveniently right between the two buildings to sneak your way up above us and then drop down, taking unsuspecting hunters by surprise instead of walking straight into their front door, don't you think, Mr. Zombie? Kise did a good job at keeping that pup of yours distracted. Now, would you kindly return what you took from our dear Momoi?” The last question didn't quite come out as a request.

 

The not-Zombie seemed unfazed by the turn of events, Akashi noticed. If he was slightly annoyed, he did not show it.

 

“So, what's it going to be, Mr. Zombie? It seems my team is arriving. If you want to run, now would be a good time with only me to deal with. You went through so much trouble this morning to just get our tracker, after all.”

 

Mr. Zombie stiffened where he stood. Akashi can feel eyes boring right through him and wondered to himself what colours they might be.

 

“Loss of a tracker is not that big of a deal. But gaining a being excelling in both physical and mental intelligent whom the tracker had identified as an infected is so much more rewarding, don't you think, Mr. Zombie?”

 

Much to his credit, the hooded figure in front of him reacted much fast than he had anticipated.

 

But Midorima never missed.

 

A needle in the left calf filled with anesthetic that could put out a fully grown man within seconds of injection clearly was not enough to knock this walker down the floor, but it was enough, judging by the visible swaying and slight loss of balance. Akashi decided it was time to make his move. So did his opponent as it dodged Akashi's on coming attack by clumsily rolling to the side, narrowly escaped the electrically charged blade Akashi had been carrying on his back. The anesthetic was taking its toll, Akashi noted, evidently with the ragged display of breathing, clearly struggling to control its own movements.

 

“I would prefer taking you unscathed. But if immobilizing you with a limb or two, I wouldn't mind too much either. It is your choice.”

 

In the distance, Akashi could here the signals of all his team units in placed, so did the walker, surely. They had it cornered, the only thing left is to take it either by forced with its last display of struggle, or wait until the anesthetic to kick in fully and pick up the body. Either way, everything was as Akashi had planned. It was tricky to lay the plan down to all of them with Kise screeching in everyone's ears, but it was not impossible. Containing the pup proved to be a challenge, but Kise managed.

 

Everything was according to plan, except one thing.

 

The walker started speaking.

 

“You humans, always so irritating.”

 

It was a low and soft groan, barely audible. Akashi thought it sounded nice anyway before he had to shield himself from an onslaught of red sharp crystals seemingly coming out of nowhere directed at him. His team was startled; Murasakibara was ready to intervene if he deem the situation dangerous. Akashi gestured for them to stand down as he melted the crystals to the ground. He thought the stench was familiar until he realized it was the smell of blood. Something popped and dropped to the ground in front of him. Through the eyes he had trained with great intensity, he managed to make out a blood bag between the walker's lips behind the wall of crystalized blood rain aiming at him.

 

“This was supposed to be my emergency ration too,” Akashi chuckled from how exasperated this walker sounded.

 

Everything went crimson red.

 

* * *

 

 

“That went well.”

 

Momoi threw a pillow at Aomine's face.

 

“Yes, I suppose it did.”

 

Midorima considered throwing a pillow at Akashi's face as he treated his wounds.

 

For all the red it had painted, the Walker's eyes were a brilliant shade of glistening sky blue.

 


	2. So here we are, under the moonlight, with me blackmailing you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroko becomes increasingly done with Akashi, and so is Momoi. (Save them)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THIS OLD BULL SHIT TO UPDATE (me neither) BUT YOU WERE WRONG. (Help me I am sick and need to make up all of my hw im dying)

Kuroko has always been a quiet kid. He doesn't like conflict nor does he like dealing with one. Which is why he had hoped to come out of Seirin unscathed. He half expected pirates to camp out this zone. They, however, was the least of his problems, as usual.

First of all, he is very dead.

He's been dead for a long time now. He used to keep a journal of approximately how many days, hours, minutes since he died. Then he decided that was a little too bleak even for him. He still has the journal, but now he jogs down notes of books he wants to try and find. He can't carry too many things with him, even with Nigou, they aren't made of horse power. Traveling is hard enough as it is, he doesn't need the extra package.

Such as being tracked and ambushed by a group of scouts, from the Capital by the looks of the expensive RV and seemingly endless supplies in a world of ruined hopes and dreams.

No, he would have loved to make a quick stop at Seirin, scout for some more blood supplies for he heard this area was so overran by Walkers that there has not been many scout teams dispatched here. Meaning, easy supply access, mainly for blood, but Nigou needs food too since he isn't dead. Kuroko was running dangerously low on blood packs. And that usually means one emergency portion of his least favourite blood type.

So he used the emergency portion.

And Nigou is captured.

His undead life is going great.

He likes to settle (if necessary) on higher places he can find. They usually give him good views of the area he's in, so in case there is any danger approaching, he can simply pack himself up and disappear without so much as a hair left. He really does not like conflict.

Since the first time Kuroko spotted them observing him in the small town a few days walk from Seirin, he had wanted to finish it up quickly. Stealing the tracker was not originally the plan, but as soon as he noticed it was the fancy type which can identify the Walkers based on their brainwaves, or rather, the lack thereof, he had to get rid of the evidence. Kuroko might be dead but he knows for a fact that his brain isn't, at least, a good portion of it, isn't _dead_.

He's an anomaly.

And he really didn't need the trouble but when you're an anomaly in a zombie apocalypse, people tends to enjoy dissecting you.

It's not like he planned for it. Kuroko was never a fighting type, he managed to stay hidden for awhile after the break out. Of course, the one moment he decided to be brave, he ended up dead right in front of his shelter. Sometimes he thought back to it, perhaps if he had ran just a bit faster, or perhaps he would still be cooping up in that small room, starving to death instead. Kuroko tries not to dwell on the thought. Nowadays, he just enjoys traveling around, exploring the world where he could not have gone before. Nigou decided to stay with him so he wouldn't be too lonely. Kuroko likes the company.

That's why now he has to figure out a way to get Nigou back. If they hadn't killed him, that is. Kuroko might not want trouble, but he will raise literall hell if his (only) friend is in immediate danger.

The problem is the emergency portion. He is, frankly, useless when blood deprived.

Looking over to their camp, he can tell that Nigou is still alive and well. They might have put him to sleep with the same anesthetic they used on Kuroko earlier. Nigou is a fierce little beast when he wants to be so Kuroko wouldn't be surprised. The anesthetic didn't put him out completely, since most of the blood it was in got crystalized and shot violently at the slightly annoying red head earlier. Kuroko figures if there is anyone he absolutely has to be wary of, that'd be the winner.

This was also his first time dealing with experienced scouts. Usually, he can avoid them all together. Not often has he met with people who can hold a fight against him. Then again, not everyone had military training before the outbreak, except whatever military training these guys had, it must have belonged to a higher government because those aims weren't for show.

Investigating their camp, Kuroko counted eight total electric field generator. He scoffs slightly, how much money must they have smooched off the Capital to be able to afford these technology in the first place. Losing a measly tracker is probably nothing to them. But he must get Nigou back, and based on the number and the non-existent emergency blood portion, unless he decides to have some zombie blood which he detests, he has to do some verbal negotiations. He figures the red head would be very pleased with the latter, he looked the type.

Kuroko collected some Walkers' blood anyway.

Just in case.

 

* * *

 

“I was expecting you to make a return, but I didn't think you would actually show up at this hour,” which is a lie, with Akashi standing outside the RV within the barrier, 100% waiting for Kuroko's arrival.

Kuroko honestly contemplated the disgusting blood. The figure in front of him laughed lightly. It almost startled Kuroko of how smooth and void of weight it was, at least, for being in this dead dreaded world. The man looked amused if Kuroko can decipher an emotion or two.

“Staying silent won't help you in this situation, and you know it, don't you? I know you can talk from our last... encounter.”

“An ambush,” Kuroko curtly reminded him, and Akashi was glad Kuroko's voice was as beautiful as he remembered and not just him possibly having a fever dream, “I am not here to fight.”

“I'm sure of it. Since if I recall correctly, the one you used a few hours earlier was indeed your emergency ration. Now, while I don't know whether you need fresh human blood to live, or slashing one of those Walkers will get you by just fine, but from your hesitation, I can take a wild jab that you are more or less on the disadvantage side, with your little pup being kept hostage and all,” Akashi smiled again and Kuroko started to think his diet is not diverse enough. He never got to taste the flesh of such a smug asshole after all. He instead took a deep breath. This is more effort than his little undead brain would like to use.

“Assuming what you're saying is correct, you are very willing to make a deal, seeing how you're willing to wait for little 'ol me in the middle of the night. With your injuries like so, no less.”

“You have done me quite a number with some very interesting display of abilities. But I am open for an equivalent exchange, if that is what you are getting at. First of, let's get the formalities out of the way. My name is Akashi Seijuro, Captain of Unit 11, Central Defense and Scouting Force. May I have the pleasure of knowing yours?”

“... Kuroko Tetsuya, former living part-timer at 7/11 and sleep deprived college student, full time undead.”

Akashi might have snorted if the little jerk at the shoulders was anything to go by.

“And how long have you been dead, Kuroko?”

“Please do not reenact Twilight with me, that's one of the last thing I'd like to be reminded from the pre-undead world.”

“We have the mind to call it the Old Civilization. So about 34 years?”

The disgusting blood pack was calling for Kuroko. He was sure of it.

“It should not matter to you how old and rotten my insides are. May we proceed with what I am here for? The sun is coming up and I would like to not deal with walking corpses while trying to have a civil talk with someone who safely stands inside a barrier.”

“It would be a magnificent sight to behold, though. So you still get attacked by the Walkers even though you are partly one yourself?”

The disgusting blood, Kuroko twitched slightly.

“What they do is none of my concerns. But they can smell you even with the barrier, and even though my human smell is concealed, between you and me, I am the easier target.”

“Then would you like to come inside the barrier to continue this negotiation?”

“That seems like a terrible idea.”

“It _is_ a terrible idea!!!” A female voice screeched from Akashi's pocket. He noticed Kuroko jerked slightly and had half a mind to chuckle. Kuroko would later find out how much he hated it when Akashi's chuckles directed themselves at him. At the moment, however, he recognized the voice belonged to the girl of the group. It indeed startled him, but also made him tensed up. He had expected them to monitor this talk, but he was almost too occupied with being annoyed at the person in front of him that he let his guard down slightly. And at that point he realized the high pitch tone had probably attracted at least a dozen Walkers that was scuffling the area.

“Momoi, don't you trust me?”

“I trust _a lot_ of your seemingly stupid ideas, Akashi, but this one is beyond your usual limits! Please under no circumstances will you let the Walker inside the barrier!!!”

“My name is Kuroko.”

“His name is Kuroko.”

“Well, it was _a pleasure_ to meet you Kuroko," Kuroko thought that may be throwing a full grown man at her earlier was not the best idea he had over the years, "I am Momoi Satsuki, Information Intel of Unit 11, and I am requesting you to stay _out_ of the barrier.”

“That is cold Momoi.”

“Akashi. Don't.” Kuroko could hear the strain in Momoi's voice, and if he weren't in such a predicament, he would have had half a mind to feel bad for her.

Akashi looks to Kuroko and for a moment he felt chills down his spine for the playfulness that was blatantly presented in those red eyes boring at him.

“What do you think, Kuroko?”

What did he think, indeed. He could already hear the dragging footsteps in the near distance, and he was sure Akashi could hear them too for how close they were. He didn't have a lot of time to think about his circumstances. Shaking the thought of the blood packs still weighing his back pouch, he turned to Akashi.

“How is Nigou?”

“So far, so good. Though I can not guarantee it will last after he wakes up. We don't have anesthetics to spare, after all.”

Akashi smiled calmly, but Kuroko had never seen such a serenely wicked smile before. He knew he was walking in the palms of Akashi's hand, and Akashi knew this too. With an exasperated sigh (he was getting tired of how many times he had sighed because of Akashi within the small amount of time they've known each other), Kuroko looked straight at Akashi and his annoyingly smug face.

“May I enter the barrier?”

“Will you give me time to discuss this with my teammates?”

 

Kuroko reached for his blood packs.

 

* * *

 

Nigou woke up sluggishly. The anesthetics were mainly used on grown adult, so it was a tad heavy handed for him, even though he is a fully grown Husky. Kuroko used to hug him at night when he was still a pup, but lately, he acted more like a body pillow to his master. Today, however, Nigou didn't wake up to a gentle blue turf of hair, but instead a muscular dark skin hand stroking his sleepy head. It was so warm and comforting that he almost leaned into it and got back to sleep before he remembered what happened with his Master.

“Whoa! Calm down!” Aomine's exclamation got Momoi's attention.

“Pipe down, Daiki! You're going to excite Nigou like that!”

“Well I don't think he needs me for that...” said Aomine, laying underneath four paws and a jaw that is ready to tear his throat out, “calm down! Calm down! Your owner is in the room outside!!”

The commotion got the attention of the “owner” who poked his little head into the room.

“Nigou? You awake?”

Akashi was sure he will be continuously amused by the new addition to Unit 11 immensely in the future as Kuroko was jumped mercilessly by Nigou on the carpeted of his very expensive RV.

He also thought the electric bracelet Kuroko agreed to put on looked nice on his thin pale wrist.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in next (year or whenever I feel like writing this again) time when Kuroko tries his best to not just eat Akashi and turns this into a tragedy instead of whatever the fuck this is.


End file.
